Hey ! :D It's one year with Fatty ! (L) Time flies , he has actually been with us for one year already . Remember the first night he came , I was so afraid x.x For weeks I guess , I even need people to carry him before I dare to go to the toilet . I remember , I started carrying him out of the cage for one day , & then from then on , am not afraid anymore ! (Y) Having Fatty around can be quite fun , though at times , we're piss when he bite this & that . Without him , I guess am still afraid of dogs . Although it has only been a year , but it seems quite long eh . & I must thanks him for being there for me too . Because for that one whole month , I talk to him everything , but am not sure how many percent of it he understand . LOL . I tell him how I feel when am upset during those times . I tell him how happy I feel when am with blahblah ~ The best thing in telling him everything is that , he will never say out everything . HAHA ! :D Although he can't reply , but just by telling , am feeling much better already .I cried to him , I tell him how upset I am when things happen . Even when things happen now , I still tell him things . Hehe . :D Somehow , am already used to having him around at home . & it feels weird not to see him when we're not in SG . ): Kay , shall end here . I love FATTY ! (L)

Hey , am bored now . MEH ! I decided to posttt ! <:

Hey , <3 . It has been 2 months & 9 days since we're together . I'm glad , we're still back together , even when it's the 3rd time together . Don't blame yourself or regret for leaving for that one month . Maybe , it isn't a wrong step after all . At least now , we're happier . If you didn't leave , we wouldn't meet so often now . We wouldn't talk so much as compare to last time , or rather , it's me x.x . Hiakhiak , I really appreciate everything you do for me & the book , hoho . It's the first time , a guy do such things for me . <3 Thanks for always being there for me , ever since we're close since I don't know when :x I don't mind if you cannot give me anything , really . Maybe , to you , it's nothing . But to me , it's more than enough already . I appreciate how you spend time travelling to & fro , just to meet me . & sorry , you wasted quite a lot of money on me already . Sorry about that :( Save save okay ! I appreciate , how you always make sure that am alright , & you always know what I'm feeling/thinking . Although , we spend everyday , very very very simple . But it's enough already . Maybe , I don't know how long this will go , but I will hold on no matter what happen . You're the first guy , who make me know , what's love . I never thought , I could cry for a guy . But I did . I never thought , I could get so unhappy because of a guy . But I did . You make me realise a lot . I know , very often , am making you unhappy . Because of things I said , or whatever . I'm sorry . I know , am getting more & more childish . :x I don't know , what makes you love me so much , am such a simple girl & don't even dress up . Who jokes about almost everything , who craps a lot , & like a siao siao one . But this time round , I find myself , being myself , when I'm with you . Maybe like you , you don't know why I love you so much either . I really don't know , but I just love you . You may not be someone who could give me everything , but being with you , I really feel very happy . It just feels so right & it's the first time , I feel like this . I love you ! <3

This is killing , & I will never be able to solve it , to heal the pain .
I was the one who cause all this , all this fucking shit .
I don't know what to do , I thought , I would feel happier going out , but I was wrong .
Seriously , why is it that , everytime , we always must be like this ?
The first time , the second time , even the third time .
I really don't understand , & everytime , it was me . How useless can I be man .
I want you to be happy , but yet , am doing the opposite .
Yesterday , the believing of it came back , I was happy .
But , I cause us to be unhappy again .
Actions , leads to regret . Which nothing can help already .
I'm a liar , always has been , forever a liar .
Why can't I fucking change ?
Why can't I fucking spare a thought for someone I really love ?
Why can't I fucking understand how much it hurts ?
Why can't I fucking just shut the fuck up ?
The pain , the hurts , everything , I couldn't solve it . I COULDN'T , what am I suppose to do ?
I'm sorry , that's all I could say . Because am that useless , that I don't know what to say , other than a sorry .

This post , shall not be that emo already .

Good memories , bad memories , everything still stays the same .
Live with it , keep the good , & erase the bad .
That's what I'm trying to do :D
Human all make mistakes , but learn from it , change for the better .
Even if , thinking back , it do hurts , we're still left with no choice .
I'm very bored , so I decided to come & post .

TNGz!
We used to be together for months , but things didn't work out .
But this time round , it just feels so different .
No matter how foolish you think I am , I don't care .
I just hope , this keeps going .
Thanks for tolerating all my nonsense , uhhuh . Those nanananan , whatever :/
Just , don't think too much .
After the chat yesterday , I just feels better .
& IM NOW WAITING FOR YOU TO WAKE UP! :@
I ain't those who know how to express myself well, or how to talk until damn well.
I only know how talk nonsense , crap a lot .
Kay , i shall continue waiting for you to wake up .
No matter how much I joke , I still do uh . :D




Friend , I guess it's better we stay like this , am sorry to treat you with all those cold replies .
But , let's just stay this way . I don't wanna have much contact with you .
I know , you will be seeing this . I hope you stay happy like how you used to .
Anything happen , you still can find me , alright ?
If that's it , don't contact me that much . Thankyou . All the best !
Don't give up on your studies , think about your future .
I know , all this hurts . I've feel it before , but am sorry .
Maybe am a bitch , but I will be more than a bitch , if i don't say it out .
Thanks for being there last time , thanks for everything . Goodbye , friend .

If only , letting go is so easy . How nice would things be ?

Everyday , I said I wanna move on , I can do it , but I failed to do so . I tried doing all kinds of rubbish , but none actually helps . I said , I'm moving on , but I didn't . I said , I won't be so unahppy already , but am still unhappy . Why am I always thinking all this ? When I fucking know it's all impossible already . I decided everything , but why can't I just follow the plan ! Maybe , it's time I step out of this , I shouldn't do all this , I shouldn't already . Shihua , you once hate such people . Now , you shouldn't be one of them . Let's just don't care , don't bother . I'm sorry , I know i'm wrong for this one month . I reflect , & i think , I'm wrong . I shall just believe in , what's yours , will be yours . No point forcing , let's not think so much already .

Tears ah tears , you drop enough already . It's time to stop .

I shouldn't have went , it makes me more confuse ):

Should I feel happy or confuse ? I'm feeling so confuse about everything . Even if one day , there's a chance , will I still dare to trust everything ? After being killed once already ? I'm afraid , real afraid of all these . What if , history repeats ? Once pain , twice stabbed , am I still able to take everything ? Maybe , I've to thanks you , yes , it wasn't a great feeling . Because it makes me stronger . It makes me know , in a relationship , it isn't just happiness all the way . In times to come , you will get killed , & the world just tumble down . But it's alright , treat it as a lesson learnt . Yes , this is too painful to treat it as a lesson , But I got no choice . I got to tell myself , this is the fact , it's happening right now , everything is gone . Learn to accept , I've already got the feeling of being killed , what's more things I couldn't accept ? Indeed , some things is hard , but learn it the hard way . Pay a high price , maybe , things will be better in future . At least , I'm stronger .

Today marks the day of you leaving me , for one month already . In times to come , I hope the pain isn't there anymore . ): This month is the 10th month I've love you . Sigh , accept it shihua ! Be happy , he's once yours . Be happy , he's once your true love .

I did it , I didn't prompt already . Late replies , no replies , it's alright . I know my status now , I couldn't ask for more . I know clearly where I stand , I should have left , far far away . I realise , I don't treat you very well anyway , she will be a better girl , I guess . All the best ! Shihua sincerely bless you .

Yes , I'm a bitch , whatever you all say eh . If I didn't tell him , & let him feel the hurt for a longer time , by then , I will be more than a bitch ! Blame me now ? Please , go & ask him , how many times have I say , IMPOSSIBLE ! So now , my fault ? Uhhuh , I don't give a damn .
& please , stop threatening , if you want to die , go ahead . Don't slit like a xmm , go & jump down . You will die faster . I will give you more money on your funeral ! -'- Don't force me to say everything eh , I know , you're hurt . But sorry , I don't feel good too , nabuey .

Nothing much changes ..

There was once , when a girl knows nothing about love . She doesn't believe in love , thinking there's no such things . But she met a boy , a boy who make her know , what's love . But now , it's gone, that guy left . This girl was once happy , but now , her life seems to be in a mess . She doesn't feels happy . Her prelims results was crap , but who can she blame ? Nobody , she fall into something call love , who make her who she is today. Who give up in her prelims , she always thought , love was something beautiful months ago . Is the thinking still the same ? She mess up her life , & still trying to accept all the facts that is happening . It's not easy , but she's trying real hard . But nothing helps . After trying the old way , her sleepless night was gone . But , is this the right way ? What is love ? It can totally mess your life , it can totally ruin you !

It takes a hard time to trust all over again . During the first few months , things was sweet . The girl knew what was love after meeting this particular guy , but it causes pain . She took 4 months to believe again , but was it a mistake to believe ? The 2nd time , she didn't get twice the pain . Instead , she was stabbed ! Stabbed right into the heart , she was completely lost . Her life turns into a mess , she broke the promises she made to someone . Everything seems to go haywire . But she was glad , it was the holiday period , if not , she gonna miss quite a number of days from school . But things didn't go well , she give up her prelims , she studied nothing , she just went on , to try her luck . Till today , things still didn't go well , why is it so ? She don't know . All she hope for , was to rewind the time , & know nothing about love . Sighhh ,

She once promise someone 3 things , but she broke all the promises after 9/9/10 . Yes , all 3 promises , that someone was disappointed , that girl knew it . But time cannot rewind , apologizing doesn't make everything right . All that girl can say is , am sorry .

Don't ever trust me , my promise are all meant to be broken .

So much to say , so much to say , sighhh .

Ahbeast told me , accept everything , accept all the facts , no point lying to myself already . Am trying , really trying . Thanks ahbeast .